Update

Dear Valued Readers,

I apologize that I haven't updated in such a long time. As soon as school ended I had to drop the laptop at Circuit City to fix the fan and a cracked screen. After a week of analysis, the fan is under warranty but the screen is not. And I washed my phone in the laundry so I have been without outside contact for about 10 days. But I realize that I needed that time to unwind and use the time wisely by thinking about future blog post materials.

I just saw the "Bowflex" commercial where the guy goes, "I gave all my fat clothes to my fat friends." Obviously the Bowflex doesn't shape up one's personality. A friend like that is about was worthless as a stock of Lehman Brothers. The friendship probably already suffered when the fat friends group became defunct, but the guy who left the group publicly calls out the friends who used to console him with gallon tubs of Ben & Jerry's whenever he felt blue. Ouch.

This Christmas season and the recession made me wonder if it had affected Santa and his elves. Obviously, Santa has a lot of elves employed and I'm sure with little bones, they are more prone to injury than normal sized people which means hiring a lot more of those Aflac geese to fill in for the employees. I think Santa probably eased the fiscal strains by relieving Frosty the Snowman and using his eyes and nose to help tackle the rising cost of heat and food, respectably. Also, in order to minimize the amount of presents, Santa probably loosened the standards of the “Naughty or Nice” list to include all individuals who fast-forward through commercials on their TiVo, who make any lane changes on the road without using the signals, and anyone who has ever danced to a Britney Spears CD. That would explain my haul this year, a pair of gloves that don't have the finger tips which will come in handy when the recession forces me to become a hobo. The gloves will keep my hands warm while I rummage through the garbage for food.

A couple more days until 2009; If anyone wanted to know it's going to be the year of the Ox.

Sincerely,
Me